377 days - Blog #26 Uptight, Everything is All Right

I’ve been back in this area for a few years now.  Although, really, it feels like I’ve just reconnected with it in the last few months.  As I’ve done so, I see how life experience and life in the ‘big’ city of Boston has changed the way I look at the world.  The natural order of things is that life hurts us and hopefully we gain some humility and patience from our scar tissue.  A patience towards tackling problems the universe feels compelled to hurl out of the blue.

As I’ve been spending more time at the theater than I have dared to in this way in quite some time, I have felt that patience and a broader perspective of the petty stupid things.  Because… I’m beyond that now.  I’m a grownup.  Or rather, I’ve learned not how to behave like a child.

Not so fast.

Yeah, the universe likes to send lessons of humility by reminding me that I haven’t really learned as much as I like to tell myself.  

Tonight I failed to let go of a stupid grudge.  It really is stupid when I consider all the water that has passed under the bridge.  Maybe it doesn’t matter.  And yes, it isn’t entirely just. Me.  It was simply a lost opportunity to be the better person.  But even that… isn’t there a smugness in delivering the veneer attempt at kindness?

So here’s the thing as the clock ticks past midnight and I feel compelled to accumulate a word count for Blog #26, I’m not perfect.  Shocking, I know.  But sometimes, that mirror gets an overhead light.  Nothing about which to get bent out of shape.  Just an opportunity to say, okay, next time try harder.

And then… because it seems to be my thing this weekend… listen to some more Stevie Wonder.