377 days, Blog #121 gratitude vs. privilege



So I’m not really all that impressed by my lame attempt at a blog last night.  My heart wasn’t in the gratitude thing, so expressing it wasn’t easy for me.  Which is why, obviously, I resorted to a lame word cloud.

I try not to reserve my expressions of gratitude to the fourth Thursday of November.  Or November.  If I stumble upon a moment or a day that is worth relishing, I will post it on Facebook then.  Not that I begrudge the practice of doing it in November.  It is kind of fun to read… and certainly a nice change of pace from the more regular social network trivialities.  

But then it stops all of a sudden on December 1st.  Or today (Black Friday) when all of a sudden all that gratitude isn’t good enough because we have to rush to the stores before the sun rises to acquire one more thing to give real value to those worthwhile moments.  I suppose there is a nice way of looking at shopping like a mad person.  Maybe there is a tradition in consumerism that makes some people happy to be in the moment.  Of course there is.  I just don’t see how my reality can make the two coexist.

Anyway, that informs some of my cynicism this year.  It does every year and doesn’t normally place a huge chip on my shoulder so I can’t drink in the happy brief moments of celebration.  The thing that did it this year was the conversation that erupted earlier this week as a fallout of Ferguson.

I wrote earlier of how I didn’t react right away to the verdict.  Or the riots.  I tried to keep a cool enough distance in talking about it so that I could keep a cool head.  But, slowly, bit by bit, as I read through comments and stories and more stories, my heart was breaking.  

I have let the news item of this week weigh heavily on me… and so it changes the filter through which I view even the most mundane details of the week.  Even the notion of gratitude.

What is the difference between expressing gratitude and acknowledging privilege?

I think the urge to ‘check your privilege’ has gotten thrown into a lot of obnoxious context.  Mostly, I think, by people who feel defensive when asked to cast aside their problems to verify the greater depth of another person’s problems.  But it really isn’t a question of denying that everyone has challenges that stand in the way of happiness… it is more like that 30 days of gratitude philosophy… how are you lucky?  And in recognizing how you are lucky, is it not possible to see in greater focus those who are not lucky in the same way?

At least, that’s how I see gratitude.

But… I’m sure people would argue… being white is not something to feel lucky about.  No, certainly not when being born white is also being born working class.  That’s different.  No one is going to write in their Facebook status that “I am grateful for being born white.”

That would be awkward.

But isn’t it also… kind of awkward or obnoxious sometimes to constantly write in one’s status how good I’ve got it?  And so what if my declaration makes someone else on Facebook feel uncomfortable because life has denied them the privilege of that joy?  Do we even think about that?  Or do we just gracefully go along with the game?  Because it’s November and it’s cool to express contentment with all that has gone well in life in honor of a day of turkey feasting?

There are two ways of looking at that, too.  At least two.

I don’t expect an answer to this question.  I suspect I will continue to ask it for some time.  I will also continue to write of my delight in the good things in my life.  I just hope that as I recognize them, I will see the fortune I possess in having them and let it inform me with a desire to give that goodness to another human being.


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