377 days, Blog #116 Goals and detours
I had another night with a conversation that stretched well
into the midnight hour… even though it started half a day before. Conversations like that are treasures. Especially with a friend whom I don’t see
very often, and yet feel the rhythm of our conversation is the same as when we
would stay up nights after serving cub scouts in our anachronistic costumes or
over hurricane punch and games of Uno in our Newton apartment.
So, if a day’s worth of writing is usurped by actual human interaction,
it is not a wasted day or a distraction from my goal. It is, much like the point of this writing
endeavor, an opportunity to enrich life and develop my ability to communicate
to a fellow human being.
I do find it interesting that I feel compelled to make that
excuse and justify to you, dear Reader the fact I am not exactly perfect in my
commitment to write a blog every day of this year. That I have to rationalize even if you stop
in here haphazardly on a weekend scroll of social media why I neglected to
accumulate a word count. Maybe it is
that premise of Nanowrimo that I’ve already abused. Maybe it is my inability to ever follow rules
even if I know they are in my best interest.
Maybe it is a lesson about making a habit. That it isn’t the repetition of doing things
for the sake of doing things. Maybe, the
regularity is more meaningful with the understanding of the importance of the
ritual of devoting time… but also understanding how it fits in to all those
other things of life.
I am at the point now where I have written more blogs since
August than I wrote in all of 2011, 2012, and 2013 combined. It changes the way I think about my day –
mostly the end of it. That there is
something I really have to do, entirely for myself. (Although maybe there is an invisible reader
out there counting my misses and ready to tell me my shortcoming on August 10th.) Sometimes I write a piece that pleases me very
much, especially when I thought I had nothing to say. Some days I know I have something to say from
the moment I wake up in the morning.
But, I do find there are just as many days when I struggle to figure out
what to say and how to say it in an interesting way.
I write anyway. Even
if it is just to complain about not knowing what to say. Because at least I am putting words together
and getting the exercise of discipline.
And that has translated to other successes. Or other shifts of habit. Knowing I can commit to this thing has
allowed me to start committed to my 20 minute workouts. To taking 20 minutes to
go move some wood. To making the effort
to see a friend I don’t see all that often so we can have those 12 hour
conversations.
I’ve never really been a person who thinks in terms of
goals. I consider myself pretty easy
going and what happens happens. I think
that is a flexible attitude and none too rigid so that I freak out when things
don’t go according to plan. So… I just
choose to avoid the plan. But this
practice of writing and working towards a list has shown me that, okay,
sometimes it is good to have a framework.
A goal can be good. The roadmap
may get a little messy on the way there… well, maybe not messy. Just not a straight line.
And that’s okay. The
detours are nice. Especially when it is
a conversation with an old friend.
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