377 days, Blog #115, a touch more of November nostalgia

I don’t know if I think about the past more than most people.  I think I articulate my reflection on history a bit more… or at least within my circle of hearing.  Maybe it’s nostalgia.  Maybe it’s a level of narcissism.  Maybe it is holding onto something I shouldn’t.  Or maybe it is (as I really like to think it is) a genuine effort to evaluate my present as a distance from where I was before.

It occurred to me as I was sitting in a sales pitch seminar on a database system that once… not very long ago… my whole working day was a database.  A lot of my last job and the one before and the one before that had to do with databases.  Today I was a stakeholder, but peripherally.  An important periphery… but one whose vested interest wasn’t the most significant to the conversation.

I say this merely because it prompted that realization of time passing and its change from a year ago.  I had already contemplated earlier in the week or month that I was coming upon this anniversary.  But here we are at the Friday before Thanksgiving and I gave pause.

A year ago this Wednesday, I gave my notice at my last job.  It was a good job.  I learned a lot working there.  About non-profits.  About people.  About myself.  I was blessed to work in an office that not only embraced but encouraged provoking conversation about politics.  No.  Not politics.  A real examination of social issues and the wistful ideas of solutions.  I deconstructed several of my racial biases and shifted into focus the ones on which I still have yet to work… and hope to help solve.  I confronted my fear of the city and some of the more seeming scary parts (I mean have you ever tried to drive the J-way or the Arborway?  If so, you’ll know exactly what kind of fear I’m talking about.)  

But as much as that job gave me a chance to grow and learn, I was ready to move on.  I handed in my notice a year ago this week.  I didn’t even know if I had the job for which I applied as a replacement, but I was ready for a change.

Then, a year ago this Friday (although technically, it was November 22^nd, a detail I remember mostly because it was the 60^th anniversary of JFK’s assassination), I had a miserable day.  My car did not start.  It was a cold, damp raw, and then rainy November morning.  I had a tow truck come to take the car to the dealership, but they did manage to jumpstart it… only so I could drive it there and find out the $400 repair that was necessary… on a day when I didn’t know if I was going to be employed or not.

I was fortunate to have another vehicle to borrow that day.  I kept my phone at the ready, mostly for that phone call from the dealership.  But also because I promised to be on call to my job, to whom I had denied another day.  It was stressful.  Emotional.  And then I was able to get my car, to pay the bill, and head off to a movie night.

Only, I left my phone in my mother’s car and missed a very important phone call.

Offering me a job.

What a year it’s been.  Weird.  This job circles back to one of my very first jobs.  It puts into focus a lot of things I’ve learned since the days at Higgins.  It puts into focus the things I still want to do.  

And really, that’s where thinking about the passing of one year has led me this week.  Not really dwelling on all that has already happened, but the thought of what could still yet twist and turn when I consider how that dreary, dismal November day turned out.