377 days, Blog #156 Traffic Jam
So as I made cursory glances at social media, I saw a few
rants and news blurbs about a traffic upset yesterday morning. My initial awareness of this story came from
people unhappy about the fact protesters stood on 93 and got in the way of
everyone’s commute.
My mind has been consumed with other thoughts of late
(enough to cripple any sense or desire for writing). So I wasn’t ready to wrap my head about this
story. My initial impulse, as a former
commuter, was UGH. That’s kind of
dumb. But then… well, I am also
heartbroken by the deafness and apathy that comes when a story fades from the
headlines – and even when it was in the headlines, people just didn’t want to
deal with it. So they didn’t. And that frustrates me. But all I’ve done with my frustration is
drown my thoughts in the whirlwind of a play, a play about white people in a
rural very white town in a very small theater whose biggest controversy is how
we store the excess of costumes.
Yeah.
Anyway, I didn’t really have an opinion until I saw a
particular someone on Facebook rant about it.
And because it was from someone with whom I don’t typically agree on the
social network, I immediately disliked the opinion. But I recognized that. My prejudice.
My ASSumptions. So I curtailed
the impulse to express an opinion I didn’t really have.
I still don’t have one opinion. But I have a few thoughts. And I’m overdue for a blog… so aren’t you
lucky, dear Readers, to hear this?
Like I said, I commuted for almost two years. My commute was ridiculous. And long. I didn’t mind it most of the time – until I
stopped and now I don’t drive if I don’t have to. But when it sucked… it really sucked. Two hours in the car. Sometimes more when there was weather or
solar glare… or a Red Sox game.
Yeah. Let’s talk about that. Even when I lived in Boston environs, traffic
SUCKED because of Red Sox games. In
fact, I planned a lot of my life around the fact I needed to avoid the Pike or
certain streets… or the green line if I didn’t want to have my day and sense of
oblivion interrupted by drunk fans. In
fact, I can pretty much attribute my total and complete disdain for Boston
sports due to this infringement on my peace of mind when going to and from the
city just because a mob – a mob that frequently employs such delightful and
loving sentiments as Yankees suck – got in my way. I’ve ranted about this sort of thing many
times… but I’m a minority in this unhappiness.
I’ve learned to just accept that it is the thing about Boston. Maybe that’s why now I live sixty miles away from
Fenway Park and any road leading to it.
The point is, I find it curious the double standard we
internalize with these protests and mobs.
It has been raised throughout every march in Ferguson and around the
country. These are rebel rousers. Malicious crowds who want to do public
harm. Even though they are trying to
make a statement about public good. But
still a crowd. A crowd that will get out
of control… because sadly, that is often the nature of crowds. We see the same consequence of crowd
mentality when it comes to sports games.
Sadly, it doesn’t even make a difference if it is a loss or a
victory. Damage is still done. Lives have actually been lost. It is still a deliberate disruption to the
every day peace. But because it’s
sports, the shenanigans are okay? If it
is about an uncomfortable topic of social justice… it’s not?
I’m asking the question.
I’m not telling you my answer. I
don’t have one. Because, like I said, I
hated the way Red Sox fans disrupted traffic into Boston. So I find myself questioning if I despise the
disruption of a group of protestors equally – even if I agree with the matter
of the protest.
But then I also think about Martin Luther King, whose
birthday was yesterday. I think about
this quote that was invoked by the protestors in their statement: “Why do we do
it this way? We do it this way because it is our experience that the nation
doesn’t move around questions of genuine equality for the poor and for black
people until it is confronted massively, dramatically in terms of direct
action.”
Hm. I am
uncomfortable. I am annoyed by seeming
stupidity. But it really wasn’t
stupid. They wanted me to be
uncomfortable. They wanted me to think
about something instead of sleepwalking through my marathon day of meetings and
rehearsal and coffee and wine. They
wanted us to talk and take notice. It
worked.
It may have been stupid and a huge pain in the ass, but it
worked.
So there’s that. But
before you get into a rage about how stupid and pointless this was (yes, I
heard you), I wonder that as well. I
think it is very important to get the message of black lives matter out
there. I think it is very important to
speak about it with clarity. I also
think it is important to push the boundaries of conversational comfort
zones. But… does it go too far when you
just piss people off? Don’t we just shut
down the whole willingness to listen if we go to extremes? See, I’m willing to stop and consider why
these protestors took such an extreme action.
But, I was already there. I will
contemplate it some more, but I’m already willing to listen. People who already have a mental block now
have a wall. Getting people angry doesn’t
lead to understanding. Making people see
the inequity is what is going to change the conversation.
But… it’s frustrating.
SO GOD DAMNED FRUSTRATING. People
just don’t want to listen or see or know or feel. They get defensive and jump to the irrational
conclusion (that I think comes from the same lack of forethought place in the
brain as deciding to stop traffic on a scary highway) that the criticism of a
small group of police officers is an assault against all police in the country. That asking questions is a hatred.
So, no, this isn’t working, is it? We are just escalating and escalating… and
when does it stop? When do we stop and
listen? We know the story. It isn’t protests. It isn’t blue ribbons. We have to stop talking at one another. We have to listen to each other.
We have to stop getting in one another’s way.
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We have to stop moving mindlessly.
We have to pay attention.
We have to ask for attention without hurting one another.
We have to stop hurting one another.
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