Moral Directions

I never met any of my great-grandparents. I hear about them in the affectionate stories told by my parents and my grandmother. Well… some of them are affectionate. Turns out that my great-grandfather was kind of a loser. We found out recently that he had a couple other families. We sorta knew about one… vaguely. But what we didn’t know is that while he was still married to my great-grandmother, he was fooling around with a local teenager. Maybe there wasn’t just one. But this one is pretty certain because he knocked her up. My great-grandmother actually divorced him – in spite of its taboo 80 some years ago. And then he left the state and went to western New York and had a completely different family. All these branches came together a few months ago. It was interesting to see the different interpretations of his person. My family who had a very cold attitude. The family that didn’t know him at all. And his ‘youngest’ family who loved him dearly.

This morning I watched George Stephanopoulos interview the guy who is telling all about John Edwards and his love child. Okay, I really haven’t paid much attention to this story. As I have chosen not to really pay attention to Tiger Woods. Because, well, it isn’t my business. And … maybe I’m going to incur the wrath of millions of women for this… I don’t think they are the douche bags that the media wants us to believe.

Okay. Yeah, it is shitty to deny your own kid. THAT I will give you. But… again… this isn’t my story. And maybe my story sheds a different light on how I perceive this… but it doesn’t really… make ME understand the pain that a family I will never meet is going through. NOR does it give me the right to pass judgment on the wrong.

But I still watched this interview. 

It saddened me that now John Edwards… well, this is what is going to be left of him. Not that he was a vice-presidential candidate. Not that he is an eloquent speaker. Not that he is a champion for millions of people who don’t have a voice or the attention that he now has. The poor.

Do those accomplishments undo the wrong that he did? No. But… they are apples and oranges to me. And frankly, I think it is less an indication of a black soul if someone messes up with their loins than neglecting the less privileged part of the human race. Maybe you think it is an indication of a lack of moral compass that I DON’T CARE who has sex and with whom (so long as it is two consenting adults). Maybe you think that just proves I have no moral fiber. Maybe... but… I really think it is a greater crime against humanity to let the poor be poor than to screw around.

I don’t know when the human race decided that there is such a thing as sexual purity. Or that anyone in this world is somehow exempt from temptation. Maybe… well, of course there are people who resist it. And sometimes that is a good thing. Because, I do believe in not hurting people’s feelings. But I also believe the human race is much better at pointing fingers when diverting attention away from personal responsibility. Maybe it’s just easier to bring down a man like John Edwards with his bedroom sins than pay attention to his challenge to us to overcome our neglect of the poor.

And come on… really? Do you think he is the first? Have you heard of Henry VIII? Why is that sexy, thrilling television that we all want to watch and this guy is… a turd? Did his romps in the hay make Harry a lesser king? Well… I suppose… when you consider he chopped off a couple heads. But he was a pretty impressive monarch. Didn’t care much for the poor, though.

But then there was Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, he had kids. With his slave. So maybe that wasn’t consenting. Some say it was love. Some say he was good to them… but it wasn’t his wife. And yet… we still uphold him as one of the greatest men in our country. Both political sides want to claim him as an inspiration. And both decide that somehow… because two centuries have blown away the dust of his libido… that isn’t what really mattered.

Okay. I’m not going to try to tell you I think John Edwards is man of the year. Or even a contender for the greatness of a Tudor or a founding father… but… the fact is, he did care about the poor. And many of us who rest on the laurels of moral sanctimony can’t be bothered. We want our taxes. We don’t want the government to spend money on THEM. We would rather buy our Starbucks or our cable television or our big trucks than give some help to the people who are too stupid and lazy to be anything other than poor. And when do we notice? When do we pay attention? When George Clooney has a telethon after a hurricane or an earthquake. We send off our ten or twenty-five bucks and then go back to arguing why we shouldn’t help the poor. And why our leaders shouldn’t have sex. Because that’s important.

Look, I’m not saying it’s a good thing to cheat on your wife, to deceive your children. No way. That sucks, man. That really… it is not cool. But… I will say this for my lecherous forebear. Two generations later the offspring from his adulterous romps get together for a dinner. They laugh. They share stories and photos. They become friends and wish one another well on holidays. So… really, there is no black and white when it comes to affairs.

But at the end of the day, poor is still poor. The hungry still hurt. And they have very few voices to stand up and champion their cause.