unforgiving

So I made the mistake of lingering in front of the television too long this morning and catching Christine O’Donnell complain about Obama’s state of the union address last night. I’m not going to argue that I was moved, or even all that inspired. But it was fine. I didn’t have a problem with it. Maybe, you’ll tell me, that’s just because I’m an oblivious Obama sycophant. Yeah, whatever. I like him. But I don’t think that makes me blind to the necessity to question him.

Or anyone. Let’s get that straight. Doubting Thomas should have been my patron saint. Just so you know.

But I was sitting there, listening to her catty comments trying to negate the question as to why she is even given the platform for her catty comments (seriously, there are a lot of mean girls in political commentary these days)… and I thought about how unforgiving the Republican party is presently. I’m not going to suggest it doesn’t go both ways. I struggle with my preconceived notions all the time… but, the point is, I struggle.

It’s an easy thing to think of these things in the abstract. Not connecting it to the personal lessons of my own life. Except, maybe that’s why that question of unforgiving resonated in my brain today.

Two and a half years ago, I had a falling out with someone. Someone for whom I had real affection as a friend. Someone whom I respected and admired… and even respected and admired his flaws. But for whatever reason, affection turned to tension and tension turned to something very hurtful. But that… all that is so murky now. It doesn’t matter, really, in the whole scheme of things. And that was something I decided when a year later I mourned the death of another friend and chose to extend a hand of apology and forgiveness. It was ignored completely. And that, I have to say, is a bigger hurt than whatever went down to disengage the friendship. 

And that’s what I thought of this morning as I watched the Republicans tear into Obama. How they just completely ignore the hand he is offering. Or the suggestion to step it back and see the big picture. Yes, you might argue, that is politics. It isn’t the petty squabbles between two individuals in theater. But, honestly, isn’t a petty squabble just a different form of politic? And isn’t the politic just an exaggerated version of that inability to treat other people with respect?

I am still hurt and enormously frustrated by that friend’s silence. At some point I recognized I had a choice, though, to hold onto that bitterness. Or to just let it go and realize that friend… probably was no friend at all.

So maybe I’ve got it all wrong when I watch the Tea Party and Fox Noise critique our leader. But, well, sometimes, I listen to what they have to say and think of that friend, who just couldn’t be bothered to forgive and move on.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Ghandi