to be or not to be concerned

I’m sitting on the floor of the living room with another cup of coffee, contemplating those half empty boxes (and the lingering collection of glass on the dining room table), watching some random HBO dribble, and debating if I should bother to make this day productive. Or if I should indulge in one of the few luxuries in my life – choose to abandon those packing projects and watch some more HBO programming and go nowhere.

I realize I’m debating this as I scroll through Facebook and get annoyed with the preoccupation with the Bruins. I’m reminded of a blog I wrote three years ago about the Patriots, which pretty much articulates my sentiments about professional sports. That a whole lot of money, concentration, and hope goes into the determination for the outcome of a single game… when all that energy could be so awesome if applied to things that really need it – like poverty, children, or anything with an actual purpose that makes the world a better place.

Before you get angry with me for that statement, again, I realize I’m thinking that as I’m sitting on my floor trying to decide if my only priority today is to catch up on Game of Thrones… when I am perfectly capable of getting off this floor and packing up the rest of my stuff and moving a carload out to Worcester and still stopping on the way to pick berries as I thought. And, no, none of those activities contributes in any way to the betterment of the world as a whole. Because I could take this day off and head out to Springfield and offer to move trees or give blood or do something that actually matters.

But I’m not going to do that.

I get that we need days to just not care about the rest of the world and those dismal things. Especially when our contribution to solutions seem so weak… but aren’t our successes simply weak because we drain the power from ourselves? The only reason I need to feel lazy today is because I choose to sit instead of get to it.

And then I go on the social network and I see the networking of one common belief, a desire for the Bruins to win. I’ve seen that eerie collective spirit work in other ways… wishing happy birthdays or sympathy for loss. I’ve also pooh poohed the meaninglessness of people’s statements there and the lack of action to go with revealing the color of underwear.

All this to debate whether to get off the floor of my living room right now… as I watch Brad Pitt resolve to avenge the murder of his wife by corrupt police officers and bootleggers. I guess… this is all to say I don’t want to be lazy and self-indulgent and live hours of my day without much consequence.

And then I think of the quote I have at the base of my yahoo email from Melnea Cass – “if we cannot do great things, we can do small things in a great way.” Dang. Guess that means I have to get off the floor now and accomplish something small.