standing in a glass house with a rock in my hand

A couple years ago I had a fallout with some people that never got to mending. I can see now it was a necessary fall of the dominoes, but I still struggle to understand why when opportunity presented itself those things didn’t get fixed.

I was thinking of that whilst awaiting my iced coffee and having a quick scan of the NY Times front page. If you are in a cave (or just live in Boston where the news is a vacuum of smug hockey victory), the top story was the resignation of Anthony Weiner. I’ve already protested my disdain for the judgment of him. I suppose this is another argument of that, as I wrestle through this notion of standards and forgiveness and why some bads are too bad to let go and some goods just don’t matter enough to undo the bad. And why some bads are just so bad we let it happen without even a whimper.

Right now our government is selling us the idea that we don’t need to take care of the old, the sick, and the poor. I suppose that isn’t going to provide us with as uncomfortable a squirm as a crotch shot of a Congressman. But shouldn’t it make us squirm? Shouldn’t it be rendered morally reprehensible that we decide one demographic isn’t worth our help because we don’t want to pay taxes? And how is the deceptive presentment of that argument any more kind and thoughtful and respectful than a man sexting a blackjack dealer behind his wife’s back?

Okay. I know. You can’t compare infidelity to budget debates. But when we raise these moral flags and start waving superior comprehension of good because a man shows off his body parts, where is the outrage to abandoning our elderly and letting children (whose lives are soooo precious in utero) starve? And then deprive them of a decent education so they can hope to make use of that American Dream and prosper? Isn’t there some morality there? In fact, I believe it is a greater offense because it hurts more people. Indeed, the hurt of people is real, physical and emotional -  and not just fodder for endless bad puns and commentary.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand why the assessment of good over a man who spoke up about that indecency is rendered too bad to keep his job… and yet the loud and vocal proponents of creating a starving, sick, dying population are just… patriotic.

Everyone lies about sex. Every. Single. Person. No one is perfect. No one is all good. I like to think of myself as a good person… but I’m like that girl with a curl in the middle of her forehead. I can be very, very bad. I accept there are consequences to my bad choices. At the end of the day, the only person whom I have any right to judge for goodness or badness is myself. And so that is probably why I thought of my own history. Of my own broken fences and the inability to get beyond a conflict. Of the double standards and labels of meanness. It frustrates me as a person trying to be a better person… but I suppose I answered my own question. The only person I can judge is me, as the only person I can fix is me, too.

I just wish we would all set down our stones before the glass shatters and pokes us in the eye, blinding us completely.