looking through the history lense

There are a lot of things that I absorb each summer at Beauport. And over the years, I have to admit, that I too developed a crush on A. Piatt Andrew. Even though the guy died forty years before I was born. And were I alive in his generation, I am no where near his social stratosphere. Oh… and he was gay. 

But… even though all the photos of him are black and white, it is pretty difficult to ignore his dashing figure. Or the charm that manifests itself in that haughty gleam and knowing eyes. He was smart, accomplished… and built a pretty cool house himself. So, okay, I’m smitten.

Recently I was reading another op ed about the economy. There was mention of the Federal Reserve, which gave me pause. Andrew was part of the group of men who decided to create the Federal Reserve. So I did some research… and as I read a little more about it, I have to say… it kind of took the guy off the pedestal on which I put him. I still dizzy at the implications of the Federal Reserve. Economics is an obfuscating language to me. But… something about that elite meeting of seven men representing 25% of the nation’s wealth, deciding it had the power to control money for the nation – the world… well, that changed the lenses a bit. 

I have no relationship with Andrew. I just talk about him for ten or so minutes two Saturdays a month in the summer. I never met him to validate my heroic impressions or dissuade them. He is just part of the shadows and dust on Eastern Point… really quite literally.

But it does make me think how I see people. How admiration can color an entire impression and then be undone with the knowledge of something else. Andrew is easier to deal with… because if he did something I don’t like… well, I just move onto another historical figure. But it isn’t so easy when the lenses change on a person in my present, with whom my life and memories are intimately entwined.

I suppose my impressions change when I alter the way I see the world… but there are details that reveal themselves without any warning or comprehension as to why they happened or why they were hidden from view for so many years. Things I wish didn’t come into focus, things that can’t help but to soil the happiness of memories that have nothing to do with the thing I dislike.

History is easier to put into perspective, to understand the wherefores and hows… especially when the story is complete from birth to death. But when still stuck in the present and unraveling of what is and could still potentially be, it is so very difficult to know how to process. To know what is the right way to judge… and where one should forgive and understand.

But again, forgiveness and understanding is a lot easier when there is a big picture and years of perspective to add to the dilemma. When in the throes of emotion and reaction, it isn’t easy to find that equilibrium in one’s mind or heart.