Clearing the snow

I have this thing about shoveling. Call it OCD. I look at it more like an attention to detail. But I accept my attitude is that of a minority. I don’t want to say I like it. It certainly has the benefit of some exercise on the more sedentary (and sloth inducing) days of snowstorms. But it is more a drive to the satisfaction of completion.

This year my landlady invested in a snow blower. It actually allowed more sloth yesterday, not requiring us to go out and shovel… the sidewalk. I’m not really sure the efficiency of said contraption, when most of the snow was on our cars and had to be shoveled anyway because a snow blower can’t fit between our vehicles. Not to mention, we still ended up moving the stuff the plow sent back. But whatever… like I said… it broke up the couch time yesterday and was enough activity to get enough blood flowing that the cold didn’t bother me.

So I accept that the sidewalk isn’t as clean with the use of an electric machine. I understand that there was no clear path between our cars to really get down to the pavement yesterday. Okay. I get that the plow came by again last night and deposited more snow on the end of the driveway. I accept and forgive that need for a perfectly clean driveway isn’t going to be satisfied. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep trying.

I got out to the driveway this morning and saw the gifts from the Newton Public Works. I decided to let my car warm up whilst I cleared it off. Sure, my Prius could have gone over the little pile. And maybe the sun would get at it… but… that was just an excuse to be lazy. If the sun got at it, it would melt enough to compact all that crappy snow and make it ice chunks at the end of day. So I cleared it away, not completely to the point that would have satisfied my need for clarity, but enough to feel as though I had made a difference.

Funny things that float through one’s mind whilst shoveling. A lot of times it is an irritation of my isolation in my quest for perfection. Sometimes I let go of that and use the quiet winter air to fuel creative thoughts. Sometimes I just breathe. This morning I heard the echo of the morning news. The debate on healthcare, that rattles me as much as many others for our various beliefs and arguments. I thought that maybe this winter we would finally start to do something to fix the problem. That no matter how many Republicans want to stop the vote from happening, it is going to happen. Maybe not the way we all want it, maybe not with all the details we hope, maybe at a cost to things that are important. But not as important as making it happen to just start the change.

As I was trekking the plow bits across the driveway, to avoid making the piles too big to see beyond, I thought of my shoveling and the nature to resist hard work and the compromise to our sense of what is perfect and right. Yes, the snow blower made things easier, and maybe faster. But… in the end, there was still work required. I could have avoided the work this morning because it would have been easier, because it annoyed the crap out of me that I was the one doing it alone - because even though I did it, it still wasn’t the perfect black driveway that my OCD requires. But I did it. I evened out the snow so that the sun can hit it today, so the snow can melt… maybe not all in one day… but over the next few days. So that when the next storm comes along, there isn’t as much to deal with. That this first layer has been cleared. And to not clear it at all, to indulge in my laziness, would make the rest of the winter even more difficult. So… while it’s not exactly what I wanted to do at the start of my Monday morning and wasn’t even how I wanted to do it, at least I could leave this morning and say it is done. And not wait with hope that someone else MIGHT get around to it the next time.

You know, it sucks to be the one to clear the path. There isn’t any glory and it is frequently hard work. But it doesn’t make it any less necessary or take away the fact that the effort is done for the betterment of all. Because a path, even with bumps and holes along the way, is a way out.