Sunday sermon

There are a lot of reasons I ended my subscription to Christian belief. I kept a few issues, like the Golden Rule and the idea that one should refrain from passing judgment unless willing to hold up a mirror to self. But overall, I chucked my religion in the recycle bin. 

I think the BIGGEST determent is the fact that I know Christians (myself was amongst them) who subscribe to the idea of do as I say, not as I do. And then the idea that one can just wipe the slate clean with a simple phrase of I’m sorry, Jesus, forgive me. No real contemplation of the fact that one’s sin or transgression may have actually caused hurt and distress to real people. If JC gives the okay because I throw empty praises at his feet, it’s okay for me to be oblivious.

**Okay, my Christian peeps, this is not an indictment of you specifically. Before I proceed further with my case, do not think I am pointing a finger at you. Because if you just read that first paragraph, I pretty much said I’m judging myself. So please don’t get pissed and close your heart and mind. I accept the consequences if I’m wrong about the universe. But this is my choice – not yours.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. I tried to shuck that whole way of being where I got preachy and didn’t live up to what I was saying. I think we all have that tendency. Whether it’s about religion or politics or fashion or talent. We all want people to see the world we do, so we can strengthen our faith in how we see the world. Because there is nothing like a second opinion to validate our own. Right? Well, it doesn’t make it right. Especially when we don’t put our words into the action we prescribe.

So here’s the deal. I keep talking a pretty penny about making myself healthy. I am really, really trying to live up to the things I say I should do. Like not sitting around on my butt. Well, here I am sitting on my butt on a Sunday afternoon. Or giving up crap food. Well… I think I give up crap food about 70% of the time. But there is always… always an exception. Oh, it’s the weekend. It’s a holiday. I have a tough day at work. It’s raining. So I can justify that buttery cookie. Or not running because I got home fifteen minutes too late to dodge the dark on my hourlong run. But it’s okay… because, well, I forgive myself.
 

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Well, I have to forgive myself. Obviously. Beating oneself up with guilt is a Catholic practice I really don’t need to bring back into my life. But finding excuses to forgive a sin I commit against myself, against my body… justifying bad behavior just because I know the better behavior but can justify the bad for a passing moment… that’s not cool. Really. Not cool.

Mistakes are completely necessary in life. Anne Shirley taught me that. And then I love that quote from Batman Begins about falling so we can learn to pick ourselves up. But the point is not to keep falling. It’s to see how we fell and how we got up again. And move on.

Look, I’m not saying a gooey chocolate chip cookie is akin to hell. But, if I keep justifying it, my body will be living in hell. That’s science. Something that is and will be whether I choose to believe in it or not.