Nice

The word nice is a piece of vocabulary for which I have a slight amount of disdain. It’s like interesting or fine. Something one uses for a blanket description that may or may not be sincere. But at the same time, I do like the meaning of nice. I like to be nice. I really, truly, in complete honesty attempt to be nice to people. I feel in the depth of my soul that kindness is something with which we all wish to be treated. At least, it is how I wish to be treated in my day to day. So with that hope, I offer that niceness to others expecting that at least one of them will turn it around and offer it to me.

But sometimes I wonder if I’m too nice.

We live in a world that questions unflinching kindness. It is either an indication of weakness or supposedly a mask to a meaner nature. Okay, I have a mean streak. I’m an intelligent female. I have claws and a cleverness to be cruel that you might not believe. But, see, that desire to be nice stops me from putting those thoughts into action… because in the end, I believe it isn’t worth it. And that law of what goes around comes around applies to the bad stuff too.

But the weakness part… well… sometimes I wonder.

I lose interest in fighting. I know the squeaky wheel gets the oil. But the squeaky wheel is annoying and not really something for which I have a growing affection. Whiny. Ick. I hate whining. I hate people who complain. Because someone always, always has it much worse. Ten times worse. But because I don’t complain and don’t get mean, does that justify people taking advantage of niceness? I don’t know.

If you’ve been reading this, you know I’ve been without my car since Monday. Five days. I actually cried when I got off the phone on Wednesday. But that was because I had already walked seven miles and… well, I was tired. I could have been nasty on the phone. But I wilted. Because I understood that things happen. That days are busy and long and exhausting for people who work on cars. My car is not the only one in their queue. They can’t deliver the parts any faster even if they put my car at the top of the queue.

I’m not paying for this. I still have a warranty. So… well, obviously that’s not an option for complaining. Last night they gave me a rental. And even though I think it is a vehicle that belongs in Florida with the snow birds, I didn’t have to get up super early to walk to the train and could drive to work today. They made that offer. I didn’t have to call up and bitch and complain and be a princess about how annoying the fact is I don’t have a car. Because… I accept that it isn’t really that annoying.

So I get a free car. That’s my reward, right? But I still can’t help but to wonder would this have taken so long if I wasn’t so nice?