erin go bah

For whatever reason, I’m just not feeling the St. Patty’s Day spirit this year. Maybe it’s because now I have to work instead of attending the annual Brennan corned beef fest. Maybe it’s because it is too close to another huge event consuming most of my waking thoughts. Maybe it’s because on the actual 3/17 I’m going to watch a broadcast of British theater interpreting British literature… or maybe… I just don’t care this year.

It is a silly holiday. And it’s as authentically Irish as the corned beef boiling in a half million pots this week. I suppose it is authentically American Irish… and there is something about upholding the tradition of our immigrant forebears who tried to maintain something of an identity after fleeing diseased potatoes. But… they were immigrants nonetheless. Dirty, drunken, Pope loving, brogue cluttering English, immigrants. They weren’t American. So why… do we spend so much time celebrating one of their worst stereotypes by… imbibing lots of cheap green beer?

Well, Irish pride belongs to… isn’t the statistic a quarter of Americans or something now? Even if it is only a quarter or a sixth or an apostrophed ‘O’ at the start of one’s surname. So what if only a third of those people have even stepped on Irish shores? And if the majority of those visits were on a tour bus, barreling from county to county for a castle tour here, a gander at the Cliffs of Mohr, and a visit to the Guinness Factory. That’s the essence of Ireland, right? 

Wait a minute… don’t you travel to Ireland, Jessie? I have. Twice. And don’t get me wrong, if the pecuniary opportunity presented itself, I would go in a heartbeat. I’m not anti-Irish or Ireland or any of that. I just feel a sort of urge to upchuck at the blarney of shamrocks and green and ridiculousness that has nothing to do with anything… especially when after we get pissed, we decide that the next immigrant class shouldn’t celebrate their heritage. Even if their language is actually Romantic and has more resemblance to English than Gaelic. Or if they have a religion that promotes peace but doesn’t get half the airtime that their radical sects do. Or their skin is paler than some of the dark Irish. It’s not the same, is it? Because nowadays they just come to this country and take our jobs cleaning up our trash, weeding our golf course lawns, and raising our children. But, if God forbid, one has a child with a woman who lives on an island in Hawaii… well, it doesn’t command any amount of celebration, does it?

Maybe if they had a day devoted just to drinking, we’d like those immigrants better.