Don't Get Mad, Get a Clue

When I was little, I threw violent temper tantrums. You know, screaming, crying, foot stomping because I was so frustrated with the fact I was a kid and the grownups in my life just REFUSED to see the world the way I did. So I screamed louder. Did it work? Hardly. I got sent to my room, where I screamed and cried and pounded my fists and cried some more… until eventually the tears ran out and I whimpered my way back to some clarity of thought.

I don’t know if one could say my parents’ reaction was a good choice. But, these days when I feel my fury start to simmer, I skip the tantrum and go to a quiet room. Maybe I’ll cry… but I’ll wait for that clarity of thought to surface before I leave. And maybe it’s because of my childhood that I just don’t really get… what good it does to be angry. Really. You just look like an ass, getting all red faced and teary and… let’s face it, no matter what the age, childish.

I do get angry. Read my blog or see the things that I post on Facebook and obviously you’ll know that things get my nerves all aglow with fiery embers. Sometimes I won’t think and speak something outrageously mean or stupid first. But… I try to avoid that. I try to see my way through the anger… because dwelling in the cloud of anger doesn’t solve anything. 

So I honestly don’t get this demand for our president… our PRESIDENT… to get angry. What… honestly… what good is it going to do if he feels compelled to kick someone’s ass? Is that going to fix the Gulf? Is it? Seriously, if he starts shouting and making his face red, is that going to stop the oil from saturating the wings of pelicans? Because if that is all it takes – if a little shouting and screaming is the solution, then by golly, I’m going to revert to my seven year old self and throw a tantrum.

Anger is a natural response. I’m not going to tell people to swallow that emotion. That has far more terrifying consequences than indulging it. But there is another definition to temper. As a verb, it means moderate. Lessen. Tone down. Chill out. Isn’t the act of tempering a better quality in a leader than the demonstration of a temper? I mean… Georgie Porgie had a few infantile fits, got us into a war… and yep, look at the success that yielded.

Are we so used to the shouting now that we don’t understand when someone speaks in a normal voice? There is so much shouting. On all the cable news stations, on the network news, at town meetings, in churches, on town commons, on Facebook, on blogs, on the radio. We shout and shout and shout our opinions and don’t listen to others. We don’t even listen to the silence. Because angry seems to be the only way to… I don’t know… is it the only way we can feel about anything?

Politics is dull. I mean, seriously, dull. Taxes are dull. Finances are dull. But throw a little personal affront to these things… well, then… gotta pay attention. Goddam useless city budgets. People loving each other… well, yeah, of course, let’s get angry about that. WTF? Seriously? Angry about love. Yeah, that makes sense. And again… what does it do… except inspire more shouting and more anger and more noise.

It DOES NOT make this world a better place. It does not make the sun shine any brighter in the morning. And, sadly, it does not stop oil from spewing gallons and gallons and gallons each day into the Gulf of Mexico.  It doesn't mean you are doing something just by getting angry.

The only time anger has done me any good is when I stopped hurling blame at other people and turned the eye inward. When I took that good long hard look inside and realized what I was doing to contribute to my rage. I force myself to get up when I’m still asleep at dawn to run off my fury with myself. I stepped away from theater that I love, love, love because I didn’t want to be angry. I looked for things I can do to temper the temper.

So what can I do about the oil spill? Am I really that helpless? Um… no. I have to reinvent my life and consume less oil. Granted I am more drowned in it than those pelicans. But, I don’t need strawberries in December. I don’t need to buy produce shipped in from Mexico because it’s cheap. I don’t need to drive my car as much (that’s going to be a tough one). I could walk once a week. I could disconnect from the computer… every once in a while.  There are things I could do.  Things I don't want to do.  But getting angry is not an equal effort.  Nor is it any more of a solution. 

I'm going to temper my anger about this and stop hurling insults and blame.  I'm going to do something... because... really... if I don't, I might as well just resign to being angry forever.