A Social Media Contemplation

I have been thinking about social media a lot lately.  Maybe that’s not a new focus.  I’ve been active on some form for over ten years and it is a regular part of my daily routine.  I guess the new thought is trying to understand the value or destructive nature of that routine.

The contemplation is that it is both.  I have wondered at the possibility of walking away from it for a while.  A healthy refresh by means of a break, as I am attempting with things I enjoy but in excess lose their worth -  like wine and sugar and theater.  But unlike those things, I am entangled with social media and its necessity.

I don’t know if that is part of the problem.  I reflect on life 18 years ago, when email was the primary electronic connection and land lines were still dominant.  Was my life emptier then?  I still managed somehow to find out what was happening in the world, even though it often left that black film on my fingers after I turned newspaper pages. I was never really a fan of phone calls, but there were face to face meetings with the people I now ‘see’ on social media.  And 18 years ago, I actually lived in another country and still managed to feel connected with home.

To be fair, life has changed logistically in the years since.  A few times over, I changed where I live, where I work, and what I do with the time I have outside of that.  Others have moved or had kids or grown into routines that don’t collide with mine any longer.  The occasional post or collection of photographs is a comfort knowing those connections – friends – are still out there growing, breathing, and living a life that is going well or figuring out how to get through the tough times.  And there is the opportunity on social media to send the instantaneous well wish towards that effort.

I wonder, sometimes, if that is enough.  A thought for someone’s wellbeing is good energy to put into the universe and never wasted.  But is the passive ease of that as meaningful as picking up a phone and saying if you need me, let’s get together?  I also wonder that about birthday wishes – which, don’t get me wrong - I absolutely love to see every year the many people close and not so close say happy to me.  But it’s not the same as having people over to dinner to tell me about the happy in their lives or going to a movie or just being in one another’s company.  We are connected… but is it the same?  Is it sufficient?  Is it really different than other generations?  Maybe those disconnects would have happened anyway, but instead of the casual Facebook reminder, it would be a wistful sigh of oh yeah, there was that friend once.  What happened to her?  Or perhaps, the social media connection is a way of holding onto a relationship that really should have faded into the ether of memory.  I’m not sure if that is good or bad.

But, even those minor connections are valuable.  On a trip or impulsive visit back to my old stomping grounds, it can provide the impetus to reconnect in person - as well as the means to make it happen.  It is a way of maintaining the possibility of finding a person without having to track down an up to date phone book or change of address form… or to be completely morbid, obituary.

It is addictive, though.  Even when the information isn’t really… that interesting.  Some days are great and full of smile inducing details.  Some days – any time the Patriots or Red Sox are playing – or even the Oscars, my eyes glaze over with the redundancy of comments.  But when I come home from a long, depressing day and the house is too quiet to soothe my stressed out mind, it is nice to peer into the rest of the world and remind myself there are friends out there.  There is the solidarity of that stress and depression, but also the sunshine and hope of others’ joy.  I like hearing of people’s successes or creative projects or seeing pet pictures and baby pictures and even though it fills me with envious longing – pictures of anyone traveling to my beloved British Isles.  It is a mood lifter.  It is also a mood drowner.

So why not take a break?  Ah… well, this is the tricky part.  I am committed to it in my job(s).  It is how I can promote the events that fill my days and attract audiences.  I prefer to be the author of the story of how they are promoted and track with a near neurosis how they are received and who/how many people pay attention.  I know how to convey the necessary information and connect and share to targeted audiences.  I understand the tools – and can see the other side of that double edged sword of data collection. 

I will stray for a paragraph and veer into the larger picture of this data thing.  That is a fundamental of marketing.  People have been monitoring spending habits and proclivities since forever.  The access to detail of this information is new.  The use of the information is dangerous, but can be good.  For smaller organizations who don’t have huge marketing budgets and want their messaging to make a larger impact.  Yes, they (we) are trying to sell you something.  But I would rather be sold something by an arts organization than a sports team any day.  So good for the sports people taking my data to not waste their time on me and maybe those arts organizations deserve a click now and then to validate their data choice.  I’m not going to keep my head in the sand and ignore the obvious evil that this power can also breed – and has.  But, it is smart, savvy marketing.  Anyway…

Social media is also (when I am in that game) a great way to connect with theater people, both in the search for talent and to sell tickets.  It finds commiseration during a fatiguing tech week or understanding in the glorious fear/triumph of an opening night, line learning, and a finale you don’t want to come.  And while a lot of that is the social connection, it is also marketing because theater people are most of the theater audiences.

And then there is… writing.  It is a sad truth that the social media addiction is one of the greatest mind sucks that takes my focus away from writing.  It is also the way I can share my writing and find those audiences.  When I actually have something to share.  But, to be completely honest, it is one of the things I really do love most about social media.  I like to write posts.   I am still guilty of the impulsive share or rant (though less frequently than when I started).  I try to fill my page with reflection and positive – or at least constructive thinking.  I very much like to craft a paragraph or a few sentences that express my thoughts.  Maybe it is shallow, but every like of my words means a great deal to me.  Whether it is someone I know well and see in my every day or someone with whom I crossed paths for a few months several years ago, it means so much to have that little like flag go up when there is appreciation for my wordsmithing.  In a way, I consider my writing more like a selfie – because my words are a snapshot of my inner self and more authentic to how I see who I am and what I can do.  I have received compliments offline and am motivated to keep at it.  Although peevishly, when the post is overlooked (especially by people whose opinions matter to me), I admit I am disappointed.  Sometimes too much.

I don’t know if that is a good thing.  That we are conditioned to feel value or the lack of it by a thumb’s up on a blue screen.  As a writer, it would be more meaningful if you read my book or offered to be my beta reader.  Or just stopped with the scowl of what do you think you can do with your writing.  The reality is my Facebook posts don’t bring me money… but maybe it has prompted you to give me some of your time to read this blog.  And that is something I value – even more than the thumb’s up or emoji like.

And therein is a conclusion to ponder.  It is a means to an end.  But it shouldn’t be the landing point, which I fear in some parts of life it has become.  Maybe not intentionally, but conveniently.  Like with all things, it is how I choose to use it.  How much time I allow it to consume – just as with television or reading or lollygagging over a cup of coffee.  I don’t think I can cut it out of my life completely.  But there are clocks and off buttons.  And pens and paper on which I can write a book or a letter. 

But if you feel like liking the post from which you found this ramble, I’m not going to deny the fact that will probably make my day.