An Actor (Director, Theater Board President)’s Lament

This is not whining.  Well, it is to a degree. But I choose to set these words to type and publish with a genuine desire to understand the situation, my culpability, and an idea of how to make things work better.

Since January, I have been rehearsing for a play – an Irish drama in which I have played a part two times before.  Were it not Irish or a story I adore, I probably would have avoided getting involved in another show so soon after the fall.  But anyone who pays attention to me knows my mad love for my ancestral land.  Not to mention, I appreciated the poetry of the fact I had already booked a week in Donegal.  This show went hand in hand with that.  We opened on Friday night – the third Friday of May – to a small audience. That isn’t unique for May shows at our theater.  Indeed, looking back at our records of the last 17 years, that isn’t a startling reality to observe the sea of empty chairs on the first Friday.  But as much as I know the reality with certainty as well as the reasons why, it was a little startling after the sellout crowd on the opening night of the show I directed in the fall. The actor in me had a ruffled feather or two, while the president in me thought oh shit, the numbers.

But I get it.  The ruffled feathers easily shake off and I can get over it.  Except I want to understand this.  Because, oh shit, the numbers.  And… actually more significantly… the art.

So at the risk of this blog being too long with the thoughts I started to process over the show decompressing glass of wine last night and as I lay awake with my dog whimpering at the squirrels this dawn, I thought I would stick to four pieces of this. I know there are more and I hope if you are committed to reading this whole thing that you will post your own thoughts, but here we go.

1. The time of year.  I already alluded to it.  That is the detail that is pretty much a given.  In fact, it isn’t just theater.  I’ve been having this conversation at work about getting people to come to an evening event.  May is not an easy sell for doing indoor things on a weekend night.  There are graduations and weddings and races and end of the year crunches at work and new Netflix releases and days in the garden so all you want to do is stay home at the end and enjoy the sound of peepers on the porch.  Sitting in a theater for three hours that may or may not be a comfortable temperature is not high on the priority list. No matter what, you are working against a grain.  And yet a lot of theaters choose May to produce a show… which brings me to my next point.

2. There are too many theaters.  I say it a lot.  I made a list a year ago.  I haven’t gone back to it.  I think once I reached 40 my mind couldn’t process it any more.  Obviously not all 40 are in production at once, but in a quick scan of my Facebook feed, I could see there were 4 other companies in our area performing this weekend.  Four other plays with which we compete for audience – after we already competed for talent. And that is in the immediate radius.  I have friends involved in shows all over the state this month – shows that maybe I would like to see, but I don’t because time and money and just too many options on the plate (but I’ll speak more on that later).  I do believe there are unique audiences for the different shows and more immediate communities to support them (perhaps), but most of us know that more than half your audience is made up of theater friends.  Theater friends who are either in these shows or have to choose how to spend their money and time to support us.  But there is so much.  So so much.  You have to make a choice and that process of elimination has to do with the relationships you have with the people in the show (favors to return) or how you feel about a particular type of theater.

3. Which brings me to genre.  I know why the show I directed sold out on opening night.  It was a musical.  A well loved musical.  We had full houses for most of the run.  The show was fun to watch.  It didn’t require too much thought or a certain mood… and yet it still had enough depth for people like me to feel like my brain cells had a bit of exercise.  It doesn’t require genius to understand that some products have more mass appeal.  In theater that is a musical and a comedy.  Drama is something we appreciate – but even when we (I) appreciate it, you have to be in a mood to go there for three hours.  Especially on a May evening. 

4. And this brings me back to time.  I took a hiatus from theater ten years ago.  It lasted almost five years with a blip or two in between.  And while I missed it, I really didn’t.  I liked having time to do other things.  Like write a novel.  Connect with other writers. Support other theater friends in the audience.  Start a supper club.  Spend time with family. Spend time talking to people.  Work.  Exercise.  Real life. I told myself after that break I would never let theater intrude too much on that real life again.  It has crossed that line a bit this year, but it is a principle I still value dearly.  I don’t believe that life should be sacrificed for theater.  Ever.  It pisses me off when anyone has that expectation or makes that demand.  When I ask people to come see a show and they say that life is too busy, I am a little sad for myself but I get it.  I get it so much.  Life matters.  Because if we don’t live life, how can we know how to portray it authentically on the stage?

So when I look out to that sea of empty chairs or when friends say they are interested or hope to make it but I know they really won’t, I understand.  I understand because I have uttered those same phrases and at the end of the day I make a choice many times to not see a play.  Even when I really want to.  I want time to myself or time to not think or time with family or time that isn’t in a theater (where I actually spend a ridiculous amount of hours not doing theater things) more.  I don’t have a greater expectation of any audience member - friend or stranger - than I do of myself. 

We’ve all played to small houses.  This isn’t a big deal. Maybe not.  Except for my reason #2.  This is when I put the president hat back on and wonder how producing theater is going to be sustainable if we can’t attract the audiences to support it – either by genre or the friendships.  Not all shows have to be a sellout.  That’s why we do the big musicals, to build momentum for the smaller pieces – or at least cushion the revenue gap a bit.  But the proliferation of productions drains that pool. 

None of this is to say I don’t appreciate the people who do come.  Indeed, I value their time and generosity all the more.  The last two nights, I have had some delightful surprises of family, friends, and past acquaintances who purchased tickets.  I know how much that means and every time I don’t go to a show, I think of that and how I may not necessarily disappoint but not give that bit of support to my theater peers and friends for all the time and heart they have put into their productions.

So what do we do?  I know I should commit to seeing more shows.  I don’t want it to be we do more musicals or comedies… because theater isn’t all about money.  And the good writing deserves to be produced for the smaller audiences that will honor it.  Except if we can’t fill the seats and make a profit, there won’t be any seats to fill.  And it isn’t just our theater facing this challenge.  It is all of the 40some in the area.

Do I secretly hope after reading this that you will suddenly make plans to come see Dancing at Lughnasa next weekend?  Of course there is some of that.  But I’m a realist.  It’s May.  Next week is Memorial Day. There are a half dozen other shows to see in the area.  But if you’ve made it this far and my words have moved you at all, I hope you will comment on this post with your perspective – your disappointments, unexpected appreciation, conflicts, and any thoughts on how we do battle with this to strengthen our theater community so that we can keep bringing up the lights on all types of shows and celebrate the good work we do to make them happen.