Resolution Reflection

December 31^st always seems an appropriate date for a reflective post.  A detail of gratitude and a proclamation of determination for the year to come.  Although… I do find myself wanting to write such posts on my birthday, at Halloween, Thanksgiving, and other arbitrary ‘new’ years.
 

But tomorrow we switch calendars and I’ll have to remind myself for the next week or two that my database is not going to auto-fill the correct digit.  It’s another tiny little change – a change over which we have some control – even if it is just taking down one photographed filled book of days to swap it out for another collection of Irish scenery.

That said, I do believe in resolutions.  Mostly because I made a big one three years ago… and it’s changed a lot of me and how I see this world.  It makes the challenges of the year that just passed a little less brutal.  I made a resolution that may seem like an act of generosity… but in fact was largely a gift I gave to myself.  And maybe that’s why I’ve been so successful in keeping it, because quite selfishly, it makes me happy.

I may have mentioned it here (definitely in my more food related blog), but the creation of my Supper Club has created a monthly ritual of themed dinners and conversations amongst a group of friends that grows each year.  The most amazing thing is I have moved around the state to a few different locations in these three years and most of the club has followed me… even to the darkened back woods of Central Massachusetts.

And the consequence of that… is the fact I feel more and more at home in this building in the central Worcester hills.  After living in London and thinking urban life was necessary for my soul to not suffocate, I couldn’t imagine coming back to the country town where I grew up… but here I am.  Quite content in this space and imagining one year, two year, five year plans that will allow me to stay and improve the space.

So New Year’s resolutions… well, maybe that’s a good way to start these plans.

Actually, in truth, I have a lot of plans… but they all sort of connect.  And they all sort of come back, ultimately, to Supper Club.

I started working at Beauport nine years ago.  This was the first summer I did not go up to the Eastern Point house of wonders and guide people through the labyrinth of themed rooms.  The house is pretty impressive just with the furniture and wallpaper and colored glass.  I bought a few items of colored glass over the years so I could pretend one apartment or another had an element of Beauport… but… I’m nowhere near Henry Davis Sleeper’s kaleidoscope.  I don’t have the budget for it anyway (or at least the good name that will give the illusion of said budget).  But one thing I did take away from that house and find a continual growth in is the gathering of friends.  My favorite part of the tours was talking about the parties in all the five dining rooms.  The politicians, the actors, the writers, the professors who were somewhat outside of the ‘norm’ and ate, drank, and were very very merry in Gloucester.  But what also impressed me was how that tight knit group took their friendships and contributed to the larger world by forming, staffing, and creating the sustainability of the American Field Service.

When I started my supper club, I thought of Harry’s parties.  I also thought of how much I hate cell phones and talking to people through Facebook.  I created a venue for an exchange of ideas and an excuse to cook some less typical fare.   It’s a different combination of people each month and a different level of conversation.  But always, always, always an evening that leaves me with a happy sigh at the end, glad to be alive in the right here right now.

There have been so many dinners since I made this resolution in January 2010 that I lost sight of my Beauport inspiration.  Then the other day I read how one of the neighboring houses, where the man who basically was the anchor of Dabsville lived, was torn down.  The history is preserved through the museum… but it did trigger my thoughts back to that community.  It made me think about my supper club, about what I want to do with my life… and how I can make it better.

It occurred to me that my supper gathering is a little off the beaten path of the city (rather like that peninsula in Gloucester).  I assemble a hodge podge of writers, actors, and friends.  We have a community.  We just don’t have a swanky acronymic name like Dabsville… yet… but therein lies inspiration for the year to come.

Is that the new year resolution?  That doesn’t seem so… resolute… does it?  Isn’t it… aside from creating a name… just a continuation of something I resolved three years ago?  Yes.  But that’s the thing.  This calendar change is a chance to look at something – maybe just see it through the legend of a history I told many times – and see it for all that is good… all the good that it can be still… and resolve to not let it go.