a question for female Republicans - or any males that love them

I don’t know if any of my Republican friends read my blog, much less feel compelled to comment on my thoughts.  I know the opinions that I air across social media are strong-minded and often expressed with surly wit.  But in spite of the heels faceted firmly in my blue state ground, I really do want to know what other people think… and how people with good hearts and intelligent minds come around to sympathize with another side.  Knowing this journey to a conclusion makes me think and re-evaluate why I think what I do.  And right now my head is spinning trying to understand this present reality.

I know it’s an election year and there are stories that burn up intensely in the flash of a week’s punditry.  Sometimes I let my fiery thoughts get caught up in it… and sometimes I choose to let it pass in the interest of real life’s problems.  But I would argue that while some of these hot words are a flash in the pan, the fact is they do have a lot to do with real life problems.

This week’s hot-headed issue is rape.  All because one white male senatorial candidate supposedly tripped up on word choice and decided to preface the word rape with ‘legitimate.’  I don’t feel like arguing the nuance of word choice for an adjective, but honestly when did the word rape ever require an adjective?  I think that word alone defines the act.  But if you really need to associate it with something – how about earth-shattering, devastating, horrific, awful?  If any other qualifier floats into your brain, I don’t think you understand what rape is.

I don’t believe that is something only a liberal can comprehend.  I like to think that any woman, whether she has a personal experience or not, gets it.  I am pretty sure that most women, sadly, know someone who has had a personal experience of some type of violation… all of which can be qualified as legitimate.  No matter what color your political blood, I know you feel that pain, that fear, that ache for what was taken. 

So my question is, without trying to be confrontational, why is it okay for your party to say these things?  Why is it something to let go in the big battle when members of that party think there is a type of rape other than forcible?  Yes, I understand that is only one voice in the party.  One extreme voice, but why are you putting that voice and echoes of that extreme voice in positions of power?  Where they can actually put forth a bill with that phrase forcible rape?  Or pass a bill for vaginal ultrasounds… which is a little on the forcible side to me?  Maybe these men don’t represent your belief and opinion and empathy… but why are you standing with the party that funds them and puts them in the position to do these things?  Why are you defending their defenders?

I thought about this yesterday.  And I thought, okay, well, Democrats have some real duds in the men department, too.  John Edwards and Anthony Weiner.  But you know what? We took them out of power.  In spite of the fact they were using their power to help the middle class and poor.  We still decided they shouldn’t keep that power because they couldn’t control their pants.  They didn’t respect the women in their lives.  And they didn’t know how to lie about it.  They didn’t know how to point the finger at gay people or women who want abortions and call them sluts.  So we shamed them and lost a voice for the poor.

John Edwards is slimy.  But no less slimy than Newt Gingrich.  And John Edwards never got on television and tried to tell American women rape has to be legitimate, which is proven by the fact she can’t get pregnant.

I’m not asking you to support Obama.  I get that we disagree about the size of government and social programs that I think are designed to help boost the American dream.  I even get that we disagree about when life begins.  I won’t ask you to change your mind about any of that.  But I would like to know how putting men in power that determine what medication I can take for my ovaries, that I am required to have ultrasounds, that I have to qualify if rape is legitimate or not… how is that not giving too much power to government?  

How is it pro life if the moment that baby draws breath you don’t care how she eats, has shelter, or becomes educated?  Maybe you might argue it’s because I’m not a mother that I don’t get how precious life is in infancy.  That I’m a heartless, selfish heathen.  Maybe I am.  But I have spent a lot of time this summer holding my baby nieces, when I breathe in that fragile precious beauty… and see the tragedy of the question.  But I also don’t want those girls to grow up in a world where rape is validated by the word that prefaces it.

Those are thoughts that shape me.  I don’t expect them to shape you.  I do wish to understand why my Republican friends think it is acceptable that we are having these discussions in the 21^st century, so acceptable that you are willing to put in power the men who make them a reality.  I encourage you to comment.  I will respect your opinion.  I just would really like to understand.