time to grow and move on

Last night I watched the second half of the Dr. Who premiere. Then I went on Facebook to dissipate my overly imaginative fear of the silent creatures from that episode. Well, skulking on the social network filled my mind with a whole other set of emotions last night. A combination of relief and disgust and… numbness. So I shut off the computer and went to bed.

I didn’t comment on THE NEWS OF THE DAY. I still won’t put anything in my Facebook status… and I almost hesitate to post this. Except… well… I have a thought and feel the impetus to express it somehow.

Someone loathsome is dead. All around the world there is rejoicing. The death is… well, obviously there is a certain balance to it. A perception of an end to a decade’s worth of anger and grieving. The rejoicing… I don’t feel the empathetic desire to shout my own exultation. Indeed, the repetition of so many comments actually makes me sad.

I don’t think what happened is wrong. I don’t think our sense of ‘closure’ is wrong. I don’t even think the sense of satisfaction that comes with it is misplaced. I just don’t know that this celebration isn’t entirely without a smudge of ugly.

I wonder what people felt like when Hitler died… not so oddly or maybe oddly enough… 66 years to the day of this announcement. There was a world war. There was a holocaust… I don’t know if it is the same or worth invoking the comparison at all. But to what else can one’s imagination draw reference? 

Our present villain is a creator of foul deeds that destroyed thousands of lives one sunny September morning. That set in path the destruction of thousands of more lives as a consequence. Does that consequence end now? Is it really… is it really enough to say that this madman is dead? Is that comfort to a soldier who lost his leg three years ago? Is it going to stop the ache for a child killed by a suicide bomber? Does this one death allow us to move on from that? 

Are we really moving on when our impulse upon hearing this news is to type up vindictive comments on Facebook? And what does it say that ten years hasn’t softened that vengeance with any perspective at all?

If this is to be an act that brings closure, then I would rather it be an end to our bitterness and vindictive attitude. And not an opportunity to speak constantly about this foul deed with a closed heart discolored by grief and anger.