one of the only certainties

Today I’m dealing with paperwork. Some of it has to do with taxes. Not what I would call the sexiest part of my daily tasks… but one, I do feel quite legitimately, is important. As I’ve been collecting all this paper and having the rules at the forefront of my brain, I have had a conversation or two about taxes. Not in the political scope… but in the lament that someone who needs money has just that much less in a pocket.

I understand that lament. I had a couple years in my early twenties where I made little enough to not have to pay taxes. Which, for all of you conservative conspirisists of government entitlement means I was dirt poor, living on $.25 boxes of pasta and sitting on a broken futon. Nowadays, I certainly don’t make tons of money… but it hurts much less when some of it disappears from my paycheck. 

Taxes have been a villain throughout history. Jesus was poo pooed for hanging around Matthew because he collected taxes. Robin Hood became immortalized for terrorizing the forests of England in order to take the taxes back. The English never really got away from that soiled reputation, igniting a whole revolution because they demanded money from the colonies. And these days, of course, taxes keep their smudged reputation thanks to Fox News.

I’ve always had a weakness for the English. Especially Robin Hood. And even an on and off again admiration for Jesus Christ. So I don’t really know what side of those stories that puts me on. But when it comes to reality, I’ve never really found taxes to be the root of all evil that hyperbole protests. Because, last time I checked, whenever you want something, you have to pay for it somehow.

Like, for instance, food. I suppose if we really wanted to, we could find a way to not pay for food. We could grow our own gardens and raise farm animals. Except then… oh, wait, we need to feed those animals some food. So maybe we could just go hunt… with a spear fashioned from a tree branch. Of course, that’s supposing we have free access to land where we can find a tree and game without paying any fees. I suppose we could always just go poaching… but, hm… is that not stealing? And last time I checked, stealing was one of those ten commandment things. So… doesn’t that mean we shouldn’t just take things? Doesn’t that mean we should give something in return for what we get?

Okay, maybe that’s an extreme philosophy, Jessie. Certainly not on an equation with the all too outrageous and unfair extra $.65 that is now required on a ten dollar bottle of wine. I mean… I get that bottle of wine for the $10. But what do I get for that $.65? Huh? What am I paying for? Corrupt spending in government. Lazy employees who take long lunches and loiter on Facebook (d’oh) during work hours? Teachers who have summer vacations. Firefighters who just sit around watching tv waiting for a fire. Policemen who just stand in the road moving traffic. Roads that don’t have potholes to eat my car or lights on so I can avoid them. Yeah… that’s not worth that extra $.65 I pay. Nope. I need that money in my pocket. And I should just get all that other stuff for free. Just cuz.

If I owned a store selling food, I wouldn’t just let people come in my store and take stuff. Because it’s unfair to take money out of their paycheck. I mean I know they need food to survive. But, I need to pay for the cold and heat to stop that food from going bad. Or the electricity so they can see the food. And the cleanliness so the food doesn’t grow strange fungi.

Nothing in this world is free. So why do we think it should be?

Look, I hate dealing with this paperwork. And yes, I would love to have the 30% of my income that I never see. But, I kind of like not destroying my suspension on my drive to work. I know how hard teachers work and… how much money of their own they take out of their paychecks to be better teachers. I like knowing the fire station is waiting for something to happen so that if something does… they are ready.

Government spending can get out of control… but, you know, I could just as easily say I don’t need that bottle of wine. And then I wouldn’t just have $.65 more in my wallet, but $10.65. But… well, I don’t want to give up that bottle of wine. So I have to pay for it.

'Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.' ~Franklin D. Roosevelt