Love Dares You
I often get the comment that I see things in an unusual way. Maybe that’s a kind way of saying I’m odd. I am odd, no question. But it isn’t a quest for quirkiness to turn things inside out and try to see them in a different light. Maybe it’s my Leo/Virgo rising combo, but I tend to over think things and look at them from all perspectives to achieve an understanding.
I try to understand because, ultimately, we all have a beating human heart that plummets with sorrow, gets defensive with hurt, and soars with hope. It allows me to forgive some transgressions and to realize my own failings through which I believe things can get better. But no matter how much I try to understand, I can’t forgive intolerance.
This weekend I asked for it. My sister requested to read my manuscript. I love my sister. I admire her fervor for helping people. I appreciate the admiration she has for me simply because I landed on this planet 7 ½ years earlier than she did. I understand that’s why she asked to read the 488 pages that have consumed most of my days since December. I also know that it’s a vampire novel with many elements and themes that go against the core of her beliefs.
I knew that… and yet I was really, utterly infuriated by one of her comments. It had nothing to do with my writing, the plot, or the overall story I was trying to create. She had one off the cuff remark that there were an awful lot of ‘homosexual’ relationships between characters in my story. Okay. Yes, there are… sort of… in that not every single character in my story is straight. Nor is every single character white. Or male. Or… mortal. Whatever. The follow up remark was, but that’s not realistic. WTF???? My counter argument was in my world, it is pretty accurate. Then she kicked me in the gut. Well, you probably are less likely to get published if you keep it this way. It would be too controversial.
Well that put the nail in the coffin. I’m getting this book published no matter what. It isn’t what the book is about. It’s a vampire novel. And yet… it’s more about love and what forever means. And fate. Can we escape it? Can we manipulate the tapestry? I was writing this novel with those themes in my head, against a background of the gay marriage debate. If we believe in our romantic souls that we are destined to be with someone – that our souls are linked – does it really matter what gender? My novel is NOT about gender. It is not about gay marriage, for that matter. But I did feel a need to populate the background with all sorts of love stories as a juxtaposition for my character to contemplate as she tries to determine her own love story. With a vampire. Which isn’t realistic – not even in my world.
But at the end of this, I can get over the affront to my novel. It’s just a novel. It isn’t real. What I can’t get over – what prompts me to write this – is the idea that the love between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman isn’t real. Who are we – who is ANYONE – to make that assessment? What makes that love any less real than the love between a man and a woman that goes sour within three years of marriage and results in infidelity or divorce? Why is a person less real because of whom they settle their heart on… or even just their transient lust? How does that detract from their overall humanity? How is that emotion any less valid, any less worthy of believing as true?
How is it right and human to say that it isn’t?
If to go to heaven and meet the almighty Jesus means I have to do injury to the human heart to get there, I’d rather pass on the opportunity. I’d rather be where people love no matter what, without conditions, without definition, with the belief that love is the one thing that isn’t realistic. Because, isn’t that what’s great about it? As Bowie and Freddie Mercury sang, “And love dares you, to care for people on the edge of the night.” Why, why, why do we tell people to stop daring?
This is my gauntlet. I’m throwing it down… for all of my one or two readers to see. I’m not going to censor myself to appease those who are afraid of what they don’t understand. I’m am going to write and get people into my head, so maybe they too can step through the looking glass to see another side of the human heart. They don’t have to agree. But just agree to see.
I try to understand because, ultimately, we all have a beating human heart that plummets with sorrow, gets defensive with hurt, and soars with hope. It allows me to forgive some transgressions and to realize my own failings through which I believe things can get better. But no matter how much I try to understand, I can’t forgive intolerance.
This weekend I asked for it. My sister requested to read my manuscript. I love my sister. I admire her fervor for helping people. I appreciate the admiration she has for me simply because I landed on this planet 7 ½ years earlier than she did. I understand that’s why she asked to read the 488 pages that have consumed most of my days since December. I also know that it’s a vampire novel with many elements and themes that go against the core of her beliefs.
I knew that… and yet I was really, utterly infuriated by one of her comments. It had nothing to do with my writing, the plot, or the overall story I was trying to create. She had one off the cuff remark that there were an awful lot of ‘homosexual’ relationships between characters in my story. Okay. Yes, there are… sort of… in that not every single character in my story is straight. Nor is every single character white. Or male. Or… mortal. Whatever. The follow up remark was, but that’s not realistic. WTF???? My counter argument was in my world, it is pretty accurate. Then she kicked me in the gut. Well, you probably are less likely to get published if you keep it this way. It would be too controversial.
Well that put the nail in the coffin. I’m getting this book published no matter what. It isn’t what the book is about. It’s a vampire novel. And yet… it’s more about love and what forever means. And fate. Can we escape it? Can we manipulate the tapestry? I was writing this novel with those themes in my head, against a background of the gay marriage debate. If we believe in our romantic souls that we are destined to be with someone – that our souls are linked – does it really matter what gender? My novel is NOT about gender. It is not about gay marriage, for that matter. But I did feel a need to populate the background with all sorts of love stories as a juxtaposition for my character to contemplate as she tries to determine her own love story. With a vampire. Which isn’t realistic – not even in my world.
But at the end of this, I can get over the affront to my novel. It’s just a novel. It isn’t real. What I can’t get over – what prompts me to write this – is the idea that the love between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman isn’t real. Who are we – who is ANYONE – to make that assessment? What makes that love any less real than the love between a man and a woman that goes sour within three years of marriage and results in infidelity or divorce? Why is a person less real because of whom they settle their heart on… or even just their transient lust? How does that detract from their overall humanity? How is that emotion any less valid, any less worthy of believing as true?
How is it right and human to say that it isn’t?
If to go to heaven and meet the almighty Jesus means I have to do injury to the human heart to get there, I’d rather pass on the opportunity. I’d rather be where people love no matter what, without conditions, without definition, with the belief that love is the one thing that isn’t realistic. Because, isn’t that what’s great about it? As Bowie and Freddie Mercury sang, “And love dares you, to care for people on the edge of the night.” Why, why, why do we tell people to stop daring?
This is my gauntlet. I’m throwing it down… for all of my one or two readers to see. I’m not going to censor myself to appease those who are afraid of what they don’t understand. I’m am going to write and get people into my head, so maybe they too can step through the looking glass to see another side of the human heart. They don’t have to agree. But just agree to see.
Comments
i hope you'll read my book when i'm finished writing it 'cause there's no one like you... and that's a wonderfully lovely thing!